There is way more to me than just a life with Cystic Fibrosis, but its a huge part of my life, it affects everything i can do! Somedays i hate CF others i just get on with it! This is my life, my story, the way i deal with CF and the way it affects me! So read with an open mind, don't judge me or feel sorry for me! i'm stronger than you think and i'll keep fighting till the very end!!
This week i've started writing my blog entry so many times but it just didn't seem to flow, i had show much to tell n so much to say!
Today none of that matters it can all wait, Today i wanna tell you about my beautiful friend who in the early hours of this morning lost her fight to this life threatening disease that I and so many of my friends fight every single day just to keep going.
Early i'm stood washing my dishing, such a mundane and ordinary task, a task to which I got out of breathe doing a coughed quite a lot, a task which most of us hate but take for granted every day cause it's just so simple to do! I had a few days worth to do this afternoon, it's something that's not felt important, today it was kinda therapeutic as I stood looking out my window thinking about my amazing friend.
Natalie was so brave when I met her, she was about 17, she was 22 and on Halloween this year would of been 23. Nat has been using an NIV every night for last 6 years, it was only 5 weeks ago after her holiday to Tenerife it was the first time i can honestly say I was scared for her, she struggled on so bravely every single day, yeah it was tough, we all know how tough some days can be. Nat had IV's booked in every 6 weeks and she has battled on everyday year after year fighting to be here with them lungs she was born with. I remember so many times she'd say i was born with these lungs, they're gonna get me through.
She never wanted a transplant, just before her 18th Birthday she was told without one she'd be lucky to see her 21. Well she say that and celebrated in style and every day since has battled hard, she wasn't ready for this, she wanted so much more and three weeks after reading Kirstie Tannock's Story in a magazine she had decided she thought she was ready for a Transplant, something she had never wanted before. I was so happy when she told, i filled up with tears,
Nat wanted to live so much, but unfortunately things just kept getting worse for her this last few weeks and the best they could do was make her as comfortable as possible. My nurse said it was peaceful and perfect for her and she looked absolutely beautiful. Which is kind of a relief, now she is free from pain and probably up there in Heaven with all our friends we have lost over last few years having an amazing party, catch up and all sitting looking down on us wondering why we are all crying.
Preventing Cross Infection!!! xxx :) xx
Gem's Hen Do
I'm been teary all day, it's just so tough knowing another friend looses her fight, but Nat my lovely you were a true inspiration of a girl who fought everyday and i will never forget that, time was against you, it just ran out way too fast for you.
I will never forget you, i'm gonna miss you.
All my love, breathe easy and rest in peace sweetie!! :) xxx